Who Knew Simulated Sex Was So Funny?!: First Comes Love at The NerdMelt Showroom

A comedy theatre in the back of a comic book store is the setting. First Comes Love is the show (http://holdmyticket.com/event/192582). Kyle Ayers is the host. A three piece band is set up in the corner. This New York show is in LA for one night only. The NerdMelt Showroom has a low ceiling with Edison style vintage light bulbs hanging down. The speakers are playing an assortment of modern hits including the jams by Fitz and The Tantrums. The show is starting at 9, California time: 9:30. The crowd is ready.

Ayers takes the stage with excitement. He is especially enthused to have a band playing for this show. He begins by asking who isn’t aware of what the show is about tonight. Only a few people raise their hands in the dark. He goes on to explain that we are about to see a series of staged readings of anonymously solicited adult film scenes from Craigslist. The band begins to play the theme from House M.D. The cast is introduced and then the scene begins with Ayers reading the stage directions. The actors play out the scene in a professional manner, while the audience laughs uncontrollably as they say one sexual innuendo after the other. “Nurse, grab my cane. No, my actual cane!” House removes his shirt and the nurse strips to her underwear to the audience’s delight. The laughs continue while the stage direction specifically directs the sexual positions which the actors accurately simulate. The scene ends with a hilarious money shot and the band plays them off. Quite an amazing scene, which will be very difficult to top!

Later on, Emily Heller (Conan, @midnight) takes the stage to do some standup. She says she is loving LA, despite what her friends back home had warned her against. “LA is like the hot girl in high school who everyone talks shit about. But then you meet her at a party and she is pretty cool.”

Next up is a parody of Seinfeld. Three males actors take the stage. One is wearing a wig and is portraying Elaine while the other two are playing George and Jerry. The actors do great impressions as the scene slowly turns into a three way. During the sex scene, George grabs the sandwich and begins eating it. Jerry asks, “You’re going to eat a sandwich while getting a blowjob?” George says, “They make a great sandwich here!”

For a slight change of pace, Erin McGown and Melissa Gavarrette take the stage on acoustic guitar and trombone. They sing a song about true love via technology, aka, online stalking. The crowd is in stiches.

The final scene is a parody of There Will Be Blood. Once again, the actors do great impressions of the characters. It ends with the fantastic line, “There Will Be Cum!”

Overall, it was a very well put together show. It is evident the host spent a good deal of time putting together a great cast and choosing great scenes. Don’t miss this show, wherever it takes place next!

Quinn Delaney


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